Before I begin this post, I want to acknowledge Ety W’s post on unconditional love. I have been mulling the subject over recently, and her post prompted me into action. So thanks, Ety.
I believe that God creates each one of us with a finite amount of love: just enough to keep us alive. Now, I can’t find anything in the Bible that would support this view exactly, so I am definitely open to any and all comments (Biblical or otherwise) that either confirm or contradict this belief. But, I do believe we need a minimum amount of love to survive, and although an inadequate amount of love won’t “kill us outright,” we begin to die inside without it.
So in the course of life, we give love to, and receive love from, many of the people we encounter. And if we are particularly giving, or we give love to those who don’t give back, we are in danger of giving away more love than we receive, and essentially starving ourselves to death. I think I’ve encountered people like this: they are starving for love on the inside because they’ve had so much taken from them, and they themselves begin to take as much as they can from everyone around them in an effort to satiate themselves.
To me, this is the definition of conditional love, because we absolutely need to get love back to satisfy the hunger that is created by giving love away. And I don’t believe we are capable of unconditional love on our own.
So, now I can go to the Bible:
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.
1 John 4:7-21, NIV
I once read a story of a man who took his wife and son on vacation from the city they lived in to the farm where he grew up. On arrival, he eagerly led his five-year-old son into the barn, grabbed a cup, sat down beside a cow and milked into the cup. Then he presented the cup to his son with a big smile on his face and urged him to drink up. His son’s reaction? “Daddy, that’s not milk! Milk comes from the store!”
Of course, we all know where milk comes from, be it a cow, a goat or whatever. And we also know that we can get perfectly good milk from the store. But if you’ve ever had truly fresh milk, directly from the source, you know the difference.
But do we know what the source of unconditional love is? Love in its purest form? The passage above sums it up: God is not only the source of love, but he is love itself.
One thing I didn’t mention when I made the statement that we are created with a finite amount of love: our capacity to accept love is much, much larger. And it is only when we choose to let God fill us with himself that we suddenly realize we have more than enough love for ourselves. Then we can begin giving love away without worrying about whether or not we’ll receive some back. That, by the way, is the definition of unconditional love.
The sad part is that we tend to approach God with our cups, but he wants to fill buckets. He has so much love to give us that we have a hard time comprehending it.
So I have a prayer that I pray often, and it comes with a visual. I pray that God will fill me with more love than I have the capacity to hold—fresh, pure love directly from the source—so that it will overflow and wet the feet of everyone I come close to.
And may you be filled to overflowing in the same way.
Blessings, Robert
:oO
Visionary, you said “poo” on my blog!
Seriously, I want to acknowledge your comment right now and comment on it later when I have more time. You make many statements that ring so true and, interestingly enough, are similar to statements made in the Bible.
I am blessed to have received such thought-provoking comments from both you and Amber, as well as others on other posts and in other blogs.
lol @ Robert…. too funny.
Thank you for your comment though.. its nice to know that you recognize that we are saying the same exact thing just using a different description. Wouldn’t it be great if everyone could be that open????? I think we’d have a much happier world.
Well, I don’t know everything, as much as I try to sound that way. :oP
You probably can tell that my faith is a very important part of my life, and I do believe there are differences between religions that actually matter a lot (I’ve read your post and am waiting until I have the time to comment in a meaningful way). But I also believe that the differences that my faith present don’t require me to disrespect or vilify the others.
And I’ll up the ante: I think the world would be a much better place if all Christians were this open, as I do believe that a lot of harm is done by my “religion.”
I await your comments with baited breath…
and as for upping the ante… its not just Christians that need to be open… its HUMANS. Im so sick of my way is the ONLY way. How about… I love my porche – but your BMW is nice too? Much better way to look at it.
I always think about this when I visit other people’s homes. Alot of people have amazing taste. I walk into their homes and admire them for their beauty. But very few of them would I actually want to live in. Sill I can appreciate them for what they are, and the beauty they hold.
Yes, I know, we all need to afford dignity and respect to everyone, regardless. But as a Christian myself, I feel particularly challenged to at least communicate my frustration in that direction.
Okay, Vision, I’m ready. Keep in mind that everything I am about to write is according to my beliefs and are not necessarily provable (yet):
The very first thing I have to say is that God is separate from the universe, as God created the universe. Now, I know that this is according to my beliefs, and it is one I can’t prove. The Big Bang theory is, however, a theory (belief) exactly because it cannot be proven either. I don’t want to get going about Creationism and all that; what’s important to what I am going to say is that God and the universe are not the same thing and thus are not interchangeable.
And God is not “what we make of him,” regardless of our beliefs. My beliefs about him may be right or wrong and yours are anyone else’s may be right or wrong, but God is who he is. One of the things I found interesting about your comment was your use of the term “I am” to describe our relation to the universe, as this is exactly the term God uses (Exodus 3:14) for himself when Moses asks for his name.
The second thing you wrote that struck a chord with me was your analogy of a branch and a tree when describing our relationship to “the source.” Interestingly, here’s what Jesus states in John 14:5-8 (The Message):
I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you’re joined with me and I with you, the relation intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated, you can’t produce a thing. Anyone who separates from me is deadwood, gathered up and thrown on the bonfire. But if you make yourselves at home with me and my words are at home in you, you can be sure that whatever you ask will be listened to and acted upon. This is how my Father shows who he is—when you produce grapes, when you mature as my disciples.
The last thing I want to comment on is your distinction between conditional and unconditional love. It seems to me that, definitions of God aside, we are in agreement. Unconditional love is possible when the limits on our ability to give love is removed–when we’re plugged into the source.
Again, Amber contends that there are no limits in the first place, and I have nothing to offer in defense of my view beyond observation (nope, no more Bible verses today), so my belief in that is not as strong as others.
Thanks for the comments–and keep ‘em coming, because if I’m wrong, I want to know!
Robert, any parent that looks at their child for the first time (unless they are seriously mentally sick – that being the parent not the child) instantly knows that feeling of unconditional love in the amount that they never knew they could feel. You cannot begin to imagine the depth of that love or the bond that is created there.
God is the definition of love… for he/she/it is the father/mother/creator of us all. So the ultimate in love. It is through God that we learn love in all of its forms. Maybe even by having that personal relationship we are able to experience love more intensely. I don’t know.
My husband is Agnostic. He would LIKE to believe, and lives his life as though he does ( he can go toe to toe with anyone on scripture too – weird). Yet his love for me is definately boundless. I honestly can’t imagine anyone other than God loving me more… even my own mother. Looking at the intensity of his love, maybe God gives him a free pass. I don’t know. Its definately a puzzle.
Oh BTW.. Visionary – I am married to a Brit, and I lived there for 20 years (Buckinghamshire). I recently moved back to the US and now live in Northern California. I knew you were a Brit when you talked about your daughter having questions at 4 about the bombings in London. American children have no clue what that would be about or that happened. My 13 year old niece doesn’t want to know anything she doesn’t HAVE to.
Anyway – that answers your question you asked me earlier.
Rats! I have to agree with you again, Amber! :oP
Interesting, though. I hint about an event on my About Me page that was the turning point in my relationship with God; that turning point was the birth of my Son. It took me a very long time (15 years!) before I realized why that event tipped the scales. Having been brought up in a home without a father, I realized that it must have been that I could not have possibly understood the concept of a Father’s love until the time I actually became one.
But as your comment states, maybe the ingrained “paternal instinct,” no less God-given, was also a factor.
Thanks, Amber!